Anxiety and the New year

There is no right time only right now ..

I sort of have a love hate relationship with this time of year . I love the fact that school is on break , all the kids are home with their families , people are generally in a good mood , Ive got plenty of time to sit down and write a few new blogs and finally get more done on my book , that was supposed to be written and off to the publisher by Christmas …..it isn’t!.

The flip side of this time of year is you are surrounded by people reflecting on the past year and making wonderful ( if never fulfilled plans for the coming year). On top of this there are social engagements ( if you’re fortunate enough ) changes to the set routine of the week and possibly travel. All these things are or can be problematic to those of us who suffer from Trauma and or Anxiety.

Trauma sufferers like me try to avoid looking in the rear view mirror of life , there are scary and unpleasant things back there , best left alone ….probably , or at least we think. Fellow anxiety sufferers also dislike looking backwards , Ive not researched this but I can tell you from experience , thinking back to a time you were not anxious and everything felt good will leave you with guilt and shame .

Looking forward is as problematic for us Anxiety sufferers , the realisation that the coming year will inevitably bring some change and that in itself is worrying . Ive said in previous posts , we anxiety sufferers have a problem with control ,escape and frankly letting people down by flipping out and looking weak. We desperately want to do the things others are planning , we don’t want to stop them from achieving their goals , we are just not up to achieving them ourselves …right now . I read a quote somewhere that ” Everything you ever wanted is just on the other side of fear”. It sounds so easy doesn’t it , walk through that fear , step through that door , cross that bridge and a whole new world awaits us , all glossy, sunny and smelling like fresh cut flowers .

We have discovered in previous posts that we have real walls to break down before we can go walking through any fear. Trauma sufferers will know that there are actual changes to our bodies from the brain to how our DNA is expressed and although these can be overcome it might take work and time , some will never achieve it and some will find it easy , its not fair but its life I’m afraid, most people I think fall somewhere in between .

Ive always said in my posts that there are experts out there , they have had years of practice treating individuals and if you have access to them , Trauma and Anxiety experts are the best people to help. I personally don’t have access to them , Mental health here in the UK is underfunded and patchy , so Im looking for my own answers . I write as a trauma and Anxiety sufferer and I don’t always get it right …or I would have fixed myself by now …I haven’t!.

Getting back to anxiety and the New Year

Yep I do ramble on , but I eventually get to the point ..

I think resolutions are for us is like an alcoholic saying on his or her ( other categories exist) last boozy binge of New Year that they are giving up the drink the next morning , probably not worth placing money on it. I think it might be better to set up a journal and map out your steps , even if they are little steps, they will keep you moving in the right direction .

For example , Id like to feel more relaxed next year , so my first step is to reduce my caffeine levels , at the same time Ive signed up to the Calm app and will do a meditation , however short every day . I will continue with my Yoga ( I always try to avoid it , so I’ll make an aim for 4 times a week ). My third step will be to start using the I breathe app, as I have noticed I have shallow breaths when stressed . These are more goals rather than resolutions , I’ll try to avoid guilt if I miss a day or two. Overall then my aim is to be more relaxed and see if this helps overall . I imagine my anxiety as a glass , stress tops up that glass and if that glass is already pretty full of anxiety then it will overflow . If however its practically empty then I can get away with bit of stress every now and again.

Ive noticed on a personal note that my anxiety has been really bad this year , I think it’s down to thinking about it more ….I know that sounds crazy right?. Well Psychcentral.com have a lovely article on this , they call it being anxious about being anxious our also known as anticipatory anxiety , its the moving away from the present moment ( you know mindfulness and all that ) and it really means the body remembering how bad it felt during periods of anxiety and starting the anxiety cycle to avoid it . They suggest , grounding techniques , breathing exercises ,challenging the thoughts and mindfulness.

The point is , thats what we all do at this time of the year , we move away from the present , look into the past and peer into the future and thats often why we as sufferers feel anxious at this time of year.

The only thing I can suggest for us is to realise we suffer from anxiety ( even if others don’t know ) , be kind to ourselves ( Give yourself a break ) . Other people have their own worries and hang ups , they are often better and hiding it , just because they seem to have it all together , they probably don’t ( unless your Keanu Reeves , he seems pretty solid) . Set goals , set steps to achieve these goals , make them achievable , even if the first step is to open your front door ! What works for others might not work for you , remember we live in a world of media and advertising don’t confuse real peoples lives with them, Facebook or X ( formerly known as Y ,F, C or whatever were calling it now ).

This was just little side post , I just wanted to wish you all an peaceful new year , I hope this is the year we all start to recover , that this is the year we can calmly step off the merry go round . The first thing Im sure we would all do is to reach a welcoming hand back and pull out fellow sufferers from that terrible ride .

I do think your all brave fighters though , you have trauma , anxiety or both , but you soldier on every day, , it might be a battle but your still fighting ……